How Social Media Effects Interpersonal Relationships
Parents today seem to wrestle with many influences in the lives of their children. From an early age television
and "fun" sites on the internet seem to begin establishing a "relationship" with kids. Research has shown the
relationships centered around these young kids on the internet has a direct negative effect on overall closeness
within the family. In situations where parents take the initiative to limit the amount of time on these
websites, the tendancy for kids is to pull away from the family to what they call fun.
[Coyne, et al., p. 151]
As students get older they take these preconceptions to school with them, to where they believe relationships are secondary to the tasks and people they are working with. On one side students feel they are using social media to better their relationships, but studies show something else entirely.
Research shows students:
- use technology for social reasons
- to connect with peers
However the study discovered:
- relationships may not be enhanced by using social media
- using Facebook has a negative effect on relationships
- social media may hinder relationship development
- students use Facebook as a relationship surrogate
- Facebook does not promote independence
Treuer and Belote raised a similar concern about “cocooning,” in which students withdraw from social environments; technology may offer ways to avoid direct interaction with peers and therefore impede psychosocial development.[Lloyd, Dean, & Cooper, 2007].
People used to understand it takes time to get to know someone. Now, we simply check out their Facebook profile,
or see what their Facebook "friends" are saying about them. Face-to-face people seem to be shallow and other
forms of information collection seem to be largely lacking. Quite a bit can be understood about a person who has
taken months or years to build the "perfect" Facebook profile. In some areas of a persons life, such as mutual
interests, this could serve to find people of "like-thinking" or for purposes of compatibility, but largely
people simply use it establish voyeuristic, self-serving glimpses of a persons life.
[O’Donoghue p. 8]
Individuals in their 40s and above will tend to remember playing with neighborhood kids. It was about having fun
together and getting mad at each other. It was about learning how to move on in the relationship to the next
thing. Friendships were built over years, whereas today they are built in one hundred and forty characters in a
Tweet, and wall posts on Facebook which typically discuss the conversation surrounding an event and not the
event or the people in the event. For many of our younger generations, friendships are no longer built, they
appear to be selected from one moment to the next, simply because someone pulled our virtual string or put a
quarter into our social media network.
[Stout
2010]
...people are becoming increasingly comfortable with beginning relationships online to decrease the risk of disappointment often felt in real life.
We need to be aware of how much influence we are allowing social media on our lives. It should never take the place of our real life experiences or serve as the foundation of any relationships we value. Any use of social media should simply allow an efficient means to update relationships we have personal and real investment in.
